Alrighty. Things have been happening. Baaad things. *sheep* 

I'm completely and utterly disappointed in myself. I feel like a failure.

1. Three D's last quarter on my report card
2. An F in AP World History on my progress
3. An F for the quarter in AP WH
4. I go over my minutes on my phone by spending 1600 and costing $500.

I want to start over. A clean slate. Which is what I've been given. Do you know how hard it is to get me out of habits? REALLY hard. It doesn't work.

I know my parents think I'm a failure too. I think what's it the worst part. And whatever my parents think my little brother thinks, so he throws it in my face. It feels like these past couple months have gone down the tube.

Currently, I'm a little child balled up in the fetal position wishing for everything to get better. On the outside, I'm trying to fix everything at once and it's turning into one big disastrous attempt.

When I finish with this, so I don't feel so bad about my self [I get done faster when I'm determined, not sad], I'm cleaning my room. One of many things that want me to do to make up for it. Plus all my brownie/cupcake sales goes to them. Ugh, it takes me 3 weeks just to raise $100. Fun fun. >.<

I would love to get a job, but I think my mom is tired of driving me everywhere so I'm to try and get one when I get my lisense. So, there goes idea.

*explode*

Yesterday I went to the Renaissance Festival again! w00t! It was a lot of fun. But, I think I would've had more fun if my friends weren't acting so awkward. I dressed up, of course, with the costume I bought last year. I bought some additions such as leather arm guards, a potion bottle that attaches to a belt using leather, and an earring type thing. I lost the ear piece because it was windy and my bangs started getting in my face. When I kept pulling them back, I guess it fell off. *emo tear* It had cost me $12! Ugh. Oh well, it's impossible to find now. And me and my stupid self forgot to put sunscreen on. Now my shoulders are all nice and toasty. Grr...

I saw my boyfriend there. He was a samurai, as I was a sorceress. He looked pretty cool despite the largeness of the costume. We hung out for a little bit, only because he caught me at the point where my family had exhausted the fair. I'd been there since 10am and left at 5pm. I'm pretty proud that I didn't get tired though. =D

Eventually when my parents wanted to leave, my dad wanted to meet his parents. Woohoo. >.> Overall, they got along well, but my mom was tad overkill on the friendliness. And she wanted to talk about what he and I do from time to time. >.< Parents.

My boyfriend's mom and his aunt dressed as the Boleyn Girls. They made the dressed themselves and everything; it was pretty cool. XP His uncle was a pirate, and his little brothers were just medieval people. But his step-dad just dressed like a regular person off the streets. He was the only one. =/

I think that's all...>.>

Once you've been 'tagged', you have to write a blog of 10 weird/random facts/habits/goals about yourself. At the end choose 10 people to be tagged , listing their names and WHY you chose them. Don't forget to leave them a comment ( You're IT ! ) and to tell them to read your blog. You can't tag the person who tagged you, since you can't tag me back - let me know when you've posted your blog so I can see your answers...

1. I have chocolate covered sunflower seeds next to my keyboard.

2. I'm chewing my favorite gum, 5, right now.

3. I hate slavery and got into a heated argument as to why it's horrible. Can you believe she wanted the South to win? n00b.

4. I play Halo Trial and Halo sometimes, and when my friend Jonathan lets me play his Halo 3. XD

5. I have to have my playlist from my profile playing at all times because my computer won't stop communicating in morse code.

6. I have OCD. Hehe, I like pretty colors.

7. I have a strawberry charm on my cell phone. And it have double meanings to me.

8. I've got a new hobby of naming everything I own.

9. Half of my best friends probably don't consider me theirs.

10. I won a drawing contest when I was 3 and the prize was a shopping spree at Publix.

Peeps:
1. L-chan - I think it's obvious. lol
2. Shelby - She's funny when random.
3. Chelsea - her answers probably have good thoughts.
4. Ariann - She's funny and thoughtful. A perfect package.
5. Jenna - She's coolio and she doesn't do these things often.
6. Mr. Ninja Man - it's always good to know more about your best friend
7. Mr. Bird Guy - He's too lazy to do this, so I'm just filling up space. lol
8. Jason - I'd like to know more about him. Hopefully he won't be so much of a pessimist.
9. Lexi - Even though I've known her for quite some time, I hardly know anything. ='[
10. Amy - Same as above. =]

I'm late, I know. Only because as busy as ever. Trying to keep up with homework, my relationship [not complaining ^.^], friends, and internet is A LOT of work. I guarantee if you try and walk in my shoes you wouldn't survive a single day.

It seems like no matter how hard I try to catch up I'm always tumbling behind the tide and sinking deeper into the depths of the sea. Now that there's only 2 weeks until the end of the quarter I have work really hard to keep my grades up and make them rise. I swear I'm going to explode one of these days. Without my boyfriend, I'd implode. XP

Tonight I have to bake cupcakes to sell at school tomorrow for Relay for Life. Which is an organization that collect money for cancer research. I'm doing it through JROTC, but if I don't come up with any money this week I'm kicked off the team. But if I get kicked off I'll still raise money, it sounds like they're seriously lacking.

And every weekend I'm selling Girl Scout cookies. It takes up a good chunk of my day, I have no life anymore so it's ok.

Yup, so basically I haven't been able to go to the movies with my friends because Logan is either grounded, or at his Father's. But that one chance when he's at his Mom's it's hard to get him going because she seems really strict for someone who only sees their children a few days a week. But I don't want to dig a hole for myself. Hehe, my mouth does that a lot.

Yeah, I'm a really opinionated person. I'll get it out one or another, some best than others. Usually, my parents don't listen to me normally, so I have to complain or argue. Which really sucks because it's gets me in trouble and feeds to their opinion of not liking me. Oh well, I stopped caring when they did. =/

I have decided to write here every single day! About my day and such. It will truly be my own blog. And no doubt boring to people who don't care. But seriously, I think all of my friends are tired of me venting to them everyday, so I'm doing it to an inanimate object. Well, let's see how well this works!

This will be posted in my myspace blog, gaia journal, and here!

w00t! ♥

10 weeks since I've posted?! ♥ O.O ♥ Sorry. ♥

( I think I forgot how to make a FAKE CUT )

Oh gosh...I just have to write about this...I don't think I can't and be sane... ♥

( =[ )

I had this odd dream a few days ago and have been meaning to write it down. ♥ XP ♥ lol ♥ Every time I wake up in the morning I remember this dream. ♥ One of my odd quirks about me. ♥ =/ ♥

( Visions of the distant future? )

I had one of the craziest dreams I've ever had in my lifetime. ♥ I definitely have to write this down. ♥ lol ♥ XP ♥

( Read about my sleepytime? )

I got meself a new video game to play! ♥ It's called Devil May Cry. ♥ Haha, yup. ♥ Believe it or not i've never played it before, so my boyfriend let me borrow it. ♥ Seeing as Resident Evil 4 scares the wits out of me and it's a little too hard and boring. ♥ Oh well! ♥ I have a feeling I may just finish this game tonight or tomorrow! ♥ XD ♥ That would definitely be a record since it usually takes me a month, and I just got this Tuesday (2 days ago). ♥

( Want to know what I think? ♥ )

Ugh. ♥ Yesterday, I had a lot of fun. ♥ My parents friends from high school came to visit, and they have kids around 13 & 15. ♥ Which is awesome! ♥ They didn't tell my parents they were bringing their children so we thought it was going to be way boring. ♥ Their kids are more like cousins to me than anything. ♥ Btw, they're boys... ♥ The oldest looked so different! ♥ He was shorter than me when I saw him last and now he's 6'1"! ♥ It was odd, seeing how he dresses like he's 13/14. ♥ Where I dress 15/16... ♥ But I laughed A LOT, so that always makes me happy. ♥

But after they left my brother and I started to feel sick. ♥ It turns out we got the 24 hour Stomach Flu. ♥ Ickyness. ♥ I threw up 3 times in an hour, so my stomach is a little sore. ♥ I'm just a little weak, but that's all. ♥ I'm ok now. ♥ Which is such a releif since I'm seeing my boyfriend tonight! ♥ W00t! ♥ If I'd still been sick I would've been totally bummed out to the max. ♥ But to be on the safe side I don't think I will kiss him. ♥ =[ ♥ The last thing I want to do is make him sick. ♥ Anyway, who would want to kiss someone who just vomited the day prior. ♥ Yuck. ♥ There's today's story. ♥ Now it's time to get ready to go see him. XD ♥

And I still don't write in here. ♥ I didn't even finish writing about my vacations. ♥ Shows just how lazy I am. ♥ Geez. ♥

( I can't believe I almost forgot hot how to make this thing... =/ )

OMG ♥ Now myspace hates me! ♥ WTF?! ♥ Does everyone suddenly hate Jack or something? ♥ What did I ever do to deserve this? ♥ Wait, don't answer that. ♥ LOL ♥

What's the problem you ask? ♥ Apparently my freakin account has been phished. ♥ Yeah... ♥ So, I have to change my password to get my account unblocked. ♥ No problem! ♥ Except, you know that box thingy with the letters and numbers you have to re-type to verify your not some computer? ♥ Well, that's a little box with and "x" in it. ♥ I tried refreshing a billion time. ♥ Closing the window and opening a new one. ♥ And I emailed help. ♥ So, yes. ♥ Hopefully they help me and fix the problem by tomorrow. ♥

L was on! ♥ We haven't been on at the same time in days and this happens to me! ♥ Ugh... ♥ At times like this I really hate my life. ♥ I could just get a new account, but do you know how much time it would take me to get the new one like the one I have now?! ♥ At least a week. ♥ Long time. ♥ Me no likey. ♥ But, if I wake up tomorrow morning and it's not fixed I'm going to make a new one. ♥

The only reason I'm mad about making a new account is because I don't have my computer. ♥ The one with all my pics and its fastness. ♥ If I was on my own that picture probably would've showed. ♥ DX ♥ I'm tempted to call my dad to see if he can change it for me while he's at home. ♥ Or maybe my grandma has a local library with internet access so I can try there. ♥ XP ♥ LOL ♥ See how addicted I am? ♥ It's only because that's the only way my boyfriend and I talk... ♥

Boring just like I predicted. ♥ I spent most of my day on the computer...just like at home. ♥

( You can stand under my umbrella...sike, that seat's reserved. XP )

Yup! ♥ It's day 3 already! ♥ XD ♥ Actually it feels longer than that. ♥ XP ♥ Turns out my grandma has to work again, so no car. ♥ :( ♥ Another boring day. ♥

( Dance the night away. )

My dream last night? ♥ Weird... ♥ It starts off with me in this school that looks like my elementary school, but it's a high school. ♥ We had to march everywhere, but this was the first day so no one knew how to march except those who had been in JROTC like myself. ♥ Then it's lunch time and I see my boyfriend there which made me smile. ♥ XD ♥ Then we're waiting in line for lunch and when I get to ask to order there is a girl from my 8th grade class and one of my friends serving. ♥ Yeah, all I got was a tray full of canned fruit. ♥ And I had to pay $10 just for myself! ♥ By that time in my dream I'm thinking to myself it's time to get out the ol' lunchbox again. ♥ XP ♥ Then my boyfriend finishes off this song that was playing in the background, which was really sweet. ♥ I can't remember what he said, but it was sweet. ♥ XD ♥ So we head off to the tables to sit together and here comes that one girl who was being mean to me, Nicole. ♥ So my boyfriend goes near her and sits one seat away from her. ♥ I come around to sit next to him, away from her and she complains. ♥ So, I move to sit between them when I suddenly see my boyfriend keeled over looking like he's going to be sick. ♥ Then I realize she kissed him. ♥ Then I start asking her how she could do that and I start to get mad at her, then I wake up. ♥ If that dream was real that girl would be on the news right now for being murdered. ♥ XP ♥

( Speaking just for me. )

I woke up at 6 in the morning. ♥ I was still way tired, so I went back to sleep. ♥ I woke up around 9 and got ready for that babysitting job. ♥ He was definitely cute. ♥ Guess what? ♥ He likes books, A LOT. ♥ I had to read all of his books to him. ♥ Some of them twice. ♥ There was Sesame Street on and he wouldn't watch it. ♥ Oh well, he'll be a nerd in school, lol. ♥ XP ♥ He wasn't even interested in his toys. ♥ Overall he was good, I taught him to clean up when it wa almost time to go, then after each toy or book he put up I would high-five him. ♥ XD ♥ Then when his grandma came home she payed me $25. ♥ O.O ♥ I only watched him for 2 hours. ♥ Oh well, I even offered to work for free because I'm cool like that. ♥ Now I have enough money to go to the movies Tuesday to see Transformers. ♥ YES! ♥ Got a phone call later that Gabriel cried after I left. ♥ Apparently I'm a good babysitter. ♥ So now they want me to babysit again today from 12 - 3pm. ♥ Hey, good money. ♥ I'm gonna buy me some manga! ♥ lol, I haven't bought much lately. ♥ Just remind me to save $10 for my library fee. ♥

( I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM! )